A Note On Raising Little Boys

They are genetically programmed to destroy things and make messes

Case in point:
I have not taken Cole to the movies since Christmas Break where we had a horrible experience.
I thought, "It's been a while, let's give it a shot," when the activity of the day was to go and view The Night at the Museum 2.

I planned it all in my head...I'll take him in the stroller so he will be strapped in and can't run away. Those of you who know Cole in person realize that he is not one to sit still...EVER. Therefore that brilliant stroller idea. I thought, I'll give him a light lunch so I can routinely feed him popcorn and fruit snacks. It's a matinee on a weekday, so there won't be as many people to distract him...I can do this!

We got into the theater and I was armed with a child sized lemonade, popcorn, toys and other miscellaneous treats. With some difficulty I got the stroller to the end of the row so he would be blocked in if I released him.

The previews came and went. Things were going well. There were probably less than ten other people in the theater. The movie started and so did Cole. Screaming.

He skillfully knocked the popcorn and drink out of my hands and sent it sprawling across the floor. I tried to mop it up with the three napkins I had in my possession. He repeatedly threw each new thing I offered him to try and keep the noise down over the rail in front of us. I knew that I was going to have to get him out of the stroller by now. He was done with it.

I tried my lap. My mom tried her lap. He got louder. He broke through the barrier of legs trying to keep him back and I resigned myself to try and watch the movie from the entryway, so he would not block any one's view. He escaped from my grasp and ran to the front of the theater and dashed under the curtains beneath the giant screen. I, therefore had to run to the front myself and retrieve him.

I knew that this wasn't going to work at this point so I took him out into the lobby. He proceeded to make friends with the creepy ticket-taker and repeatedly went over to hug him and say, "Hi". I tried to take him into an empty theater...he wasn't going for it. He wanted to play with the arcade games they had in the lobby. After letting him push buttons and play with the racing steering wheel, he wanted more action-so somehow he found the switch that turned off every game in the joint. Dave05 I regret to inform you that your high score has disappeared from the Star Trek game....and to everyone else who put so much time and effort into gaming so their name could be at the top of the list in a St George cinema lobby, I am truly sorry.

By this time the manager was giving me the evil eye.

I flipped the switch back on and set the games to re-booting. We spent the next hour outside making the rounds in the parking lot, baking in the hot sun with my son offering a friendly "HI" and "BYE" to everyone he saw.

I took him back inside when I knew the movie only had a few minutes left to wash his hands. He had been playing with the pay phone and repeatedly tried to get gum off of the sidewalk. After I had him thoroughly scrubbed and was reaching for the paper towels, he promptly walked over and stuck his fresh hands into the toilet. At this point I wasn't surprised.

I don't think we'll be trying to attend the cinema anytime soon.