Namaste

During Christmas break my sisters not-so-lovingly informed me that I was well on my way to becoming a hermit. So, in an effort to prove them wrong and get out more I started scheduling things to get me out of the house. Most of you know that I have a fear of exertion, for obvious reasons. This really limits my exercising habits or lack thereof. My doctor told me that I should take yoga.

I like yoga, I have a couple of ancient yoga VHS that I pull out every now and again. I know downward dog. I am a fan of child's pose. I can do this!

However, the only formal "class" I have attended was instructed by my friend's Auntie Hannah, on the Big Island, on a trip a long time ago. Let me give you some background.

Auntie Hannah lives in the mountains on the Hilo side. Auntie Hannah is well into her 60's, maybe early 70's. Auntie Hannah used to be Julia Roberts yoga instructor (no joke). She even worked with Julia on movie sets in between takes. Auntie Hannah also used to have her own television show teaching yoga in Argentina. She's a pro! There are a lot of interesting things about Auntie Hannah, like she uses rain water to shower and has her own open-air yoga studio in her backyard/rain forest. I have a picture somewhere of me doing tree pose in this outdoor studio but it was way before I went digital. Auntie Hannah is also a kick-butt social worker so that made me like her even more. Plus, she let me and my friend's stay for free at her house, therefore getting to explore the island on a students budget.

Sorry-getting off track.

So, we arrive late at night after making our way up the mountain. We enter into Auntie Hannah's house and I bet not two minutes after we have arrived she gets really excited and offers to show us her headstand. Now, let's be reminded...I have never met Auntie Hannah before this. I just know that she is related to my friend. She immediately clears a space in between our luggage, gets on her head, pulls her legs up from the side and raises stick straight up in the air. I found out later that this is a very advanced pose.Thing is, Auntie Hannah lives in a rainforest, showers with rain water, and does not prefer to wear a bra. I am amazed by this impromptu headstand, but shocked at her shirt falling down around her ears to reveal nothing but a wrinkled, naked torso. Now, she is not embarrassed in the slightest, just continues talking to us while in her headstand. Eventually, she pulls her legs out into a split, places them on the floor and gets back up like there was nothing to it. My friend apologized later that night for her aunt's exhibitionism. I was forever changed-possibly scarred.

We went to a class later that week that she taught at the local YMCA. It didn't seem right. Julia's personal friend and instructor teaching in a run-down YMCA to a bunch of hippies. She deserved some posh studio somewhere, but this was the life she chose. The actual doing poses with other people who were good at this kind of stuff was kind of unnerving.

Getting back to the original story. Now imagine me...someone who rarely works out...and put her in a group of people, who know what they are doing, in a class. Sensing a little anxiety? I still have my competitive nature and want to prove to my sisters that I am not a hermit, so I signed up at our local gym and bribed Cris to come with me.

Yesterday morning I was having what we can call "tummy trouble" and I thought of blowing my yoga class off. In the end, I got my snap together and went. Cole had a great time in the Kids Club. I did not have a life-altering experience in my rather large group class like Jess or Meg. My stomach even settled down a little. I remained clothed the entire time. I enjoyed it. The instructor talked a lot about opening your mind and your body. She also turned off the lights-I knew I liked her. My legs were shaking by the end of the hour, but Cristine's were also so I didn't feel too bad. I am relaxed and have chanted Om with the rest of the class and feel ready to go about my day.

I came home, put the baby down and Brian shows up.
ME: It's one o'clock. What are you doing?
BRIAN: You have an appointment. Hurry up and get ready.

OK, an appointment. I knew something was up that morning by his extreme happiness, but that's another story. He sends me to the spa just around the corner (no kidding, the only thing closer is the church) where I think I am going to get a pedicure and the receptionist informs me that I am signed up for the works. Happy Early Valentine's Day to me!

I have not eaten and the tummy trouble starts to pick up. Namaste represents the belief that there is a divine spark in each of us. Whilst I was paying someone to pick my zits and play with my hair (Kate, Mand I think you really missed your calling in life) something was sparking inside of me. It started to escape. I let not one...not two...

but three.

They were not very loud, but really-I could not blame them on anyone else. The spa is a quiet place. I am the only other person in the room. After the second, I could hear the esthetician trying hard not to giggle. I had a hard time relaxing after that. Then again....my overactive digestive system decided to manifest itself while the massage therapist was laying a steamed towel across my bare back.

OK, at this point I am almost ready to just pack up and leave.

I try to bring myself back into the moment and enjoy it. These things happen all the time, right? RIGHT??? I came out of there not quite as relaxed as I could have been, but pampered nonetheless.

So, note to self...don't get all relaxed and "open" in yoga class and then subject your body to more procedures that relax and open it. It's not very good for your chi.

I think that I am going to stick to being a hermit.